Stupid x

It's Monday after school and I am staying here for as long as it takes for the feeling that I should go the gym to make it's way the hell out off my conscience. I don't feel a HUGE commitment to my own fitness, (in fact I seem to have a bent towards more of a balance between self-destruction and common sense wellness- you know, balancing wine with cigarettes and madness) but rather, I am cheap and I feel I should get my money's worth for the month.
I can't believe I signed a contract for three years by mistake! I hate going to the gym most days. I don't like the flourescent lights or the fan that seems to perpetually be blowing on only my sweaty ass. It's all so goddamned irritating. From the big, stupid jocky guys to the dry air to the showers that would send even the most hygienically challenged teenager running for the hills, I highly dislike most of it. Possibly the most irritating thing about the gym is the fact that R's ex works there and is the director of bloody wellness or some such fucking thing. Good for her. I once turned down a spot in a clothing club, so there. haha
The irritation is in that everytime I go there it's with a sense of trepidation. I really don't want to see her, but I am unfortunately curious. Is she the girly-girl type who is perky and friendly with a big perfect smile. You know the type. The one you hope you'll one day see getting her credit card denied, or falling up the stairs, or seeing her picture on the television because she's committed fraud and has to serve community hours. She's likely the sort of woman I'd like but inevitably feel stupid around because I dress like a cross between a hobo and someone with a case of mental illness.
Okay I must go and watch cartoons because I am just that cool.