Jive Talkin

What a time to get thoughtful about eating disorders. It's a beautiful day, I slept well, I had a great weekend.
One woman posted a question on a website I visit often that deals with eating disorders and weigthloss and all that ugliness. She wanted to know what sets a person off into a binge/purge cycle. I had to dig deep for this one:

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What starts it all?
If I feel like I've been successful at something and on top of the world, (or at least a really big hill) it makes me feel vulnerable and that the slightest thing could push me off the edge. In fact sometimes I find myself looking for reasons to feel bad. It's weird that I've told myself I was worthless for so many years it's like I'm mentally more comfortable there. I'm afraid a lot of the time that this person I've become will just go away.

wow... I sound really really off balance don't I?

I guess we all have our own demons.
On to brighter, happier things.

The weekend was fantastic. I played beach volleyball, golfed and had an impromptu barbeque last night. The burgers were TERRIBLE. They smoked and turned out much like little hardened pucks of leather. The salad and watermelon came from heaven though so I mean, there's a little balance there for ya.
R and I had a wonderful night after our guests left. He smoked a cigar that the lady at the shop told him tasted like a Jamaican holiday. It didn't smell like I thought a Jamaican holiday should smell, but he seemed to like it all the same. I bought some cigarettes and informed the lady I knew they would taste like a prairie holiday. She didn't laugh.
R watched some sport on TV for about fifteen minutes and I listened to "Jive Talkin" by the Beegees. We went to bed early and slept in this morning. It was the perfect end to the weekend.