moo

This morning I awoke with a crusty eye that was itchy and watery. Yuck. I was sure it was pink eye until the pharmacist took a good look at the wrong eye and told me it just wasn't so. He thought it was just allergies and once again I've managed to misdiagnose myself. I blame it on accute hypochondria which according to my mother doesn't even exist. One teacher whom I was sure in the past had it in for me, told me it could be a serious case of conjunctivitis and I should seek immediate medical assistance. With a gasp I asked what on earth conjunctivitis was and if it could kill me. Apparently it's just another name for pink eye.
This is simply not funny for a worrier like me. The worst thing technology has come up with (for people like me) is that WebMD page. Last year I was convinced I had a myriad of complicated and messy illnesses. It's truly terrifying to look at a list of dangerous and degenerative disease symptoms and realize you have many of them or could have many of them or have had some of them in the past.

R was the least sympathetic. He gazed down tenderly into my worried face and said "aww my little heifer".
To which I immmediately stiffened and abruptly asked, "What!!!?? is that supposed to mean?"
Not an amusing thing for a part time bulimic like me.
He said to me, "It's just that little baby cows get pink eye all the time."
You can see where this is going.
As it turns out, I got some allergy drops and now I am going to have some cake.
Moo.